A Time of Lament
By Krisie Brown
Do you find yourself in a season of loss? Maybe you’ve lost a loved one, a job, or a friendship, or your expectations have been disappointed in some area of your life. Loss is an inevitable experience in this life.
What are we to do with the loss? Our culture would tell us to keep busy, move on to plan B or C, seek the next goal, and move forward. In contrast, if we look to scripture, we see Psalms expressing anguish, disappointment, and despair. At Bible study, we recently studied the book of Lamentations. Our group book order caused the study guide for Lamentations to be put on back order, which should tell you how often people actually take a long look at what it means to lament.
Let me encourage you, it was a worthwhile pursuit. Lamentations is a book about the fall of Jerusalem into the hands of their enemies the Babylonians, after an almost three-year siege of the city in which the inhabitants experienced much suffering. The spiritual significance of this defeat was that for years the Israelites had not been following God’s law, the covenant that had been made during Moses’ leadership. That covenant spelled out specifically how the Lord would bless and protect them while they followed and worshiped God solely. And likewise, all the consequences of turning away from God were laid out. The prophets Jeremiah, Habakkuk, and Zephaniah all continually warned about their impending punishment under the law. The people had ignored the warnings, and so the author of Lamentations writes very graphically about the suffering that resulted. So what does God say about dealing with loss, even when it is brought on by our own actions?
First, it’s okay to stop, to focus on the hurt and despair of the loss. Acknowledging and naming the feelings you are experiencing and speaking them out loud before God is acceptable. Even if those emotions involve anger. God can handle our raw emotions. Our loving Father would rather have you loudly ranting and raving your frustrations honestly and openly to Him than turning away in denial that shuts down your relationship with Him.
Her [Jerusalem’s] foes have become her masters; her enemies are at ease. The Lord has brought her grief because of her many sins. Her children have gone into exile, captive before the foe. Lamentations 1:5
The author cries out, “He [God] has withdrawn his right hand,” acknowledging that these are dire times, full of despair without any comfort or protection. So, follow the example of Lamentations. Write down your loss, your feelings, your questions and doubts, and bring them before God. Be willing to spend time pouring it all out to God and being still before the Lord.
Second, it is to God we must go with our pain and suffering. Who or what else can we turn to? The author of Lamentations understands this, and so cries,
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22-24
God alone has the power to help us, to heal our wounded spirit, and to redeem our suffering in His eternal plan.
Sometimes, though, we can get stuck in the negative thoughts and feelings swirling around in our heads and hearts. So, once we have voiced our truth of hurt and pain and been honest with God, how do we stop the cycle of negativity?
The simple answer is to focus on God and His redemptive love lived out in Jesus. Practically, however, how do we get there? This reminds me of a mindfulness activity I have practiced with my children that was recommended by their therapist as we sought to help them deal with anxiety. The grounding mindfulness focuses on the five senses. We start with acknowledging our feelings of anxiety, breathing deeply, and paying attention to the here and now. We then list 5 things we can see, 4 things we can touch or feel, 3 things we can hear, 2 things we can smell, and 1 thing we can taste (usually the last thing we had eaten. 😊
So, I’d like to suggest a God-focused version of this … acknowledge your feelings of hurt and loss and take three deep breaths, and then …
Name 5 attributes of God – God is loving, faithful, merciful, all knowing, ever present.
Name 4 promises of God – God has promised never to leave or forsake us, God has promised His mercies are new every morning, God has promised nothing can separate us from the love of Christ, God has promised us wisdom when we ask for it.
Name 3 good gifts that He has given us this day – God has given us air to breathe, friends to encourage, His Bible that is living and active.
Now sing 2 praise songs to Him:
1) Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from heaven above, with wisdom, power and love, our God is an awesome God
2) Jesus, Name above all names, beautiful Savior, glorious Lord, Emmanuel, God is with us, blessed Redeemer, living Word.
Finally, name 1 recent answer to prayer – remembering God’s faithfulness to us in the past.
Thank you, Jesus!
Print this bookmark to use in your own reflections.
I hope you find encouragement even as you take time to pay attention to your loss, lament, and turn your gaze back to Jesus.
Krisie Brown has been involved in both the Women’s and Children’s Ministries at First Congregational Church of Hamilton for close to 30 years. She and her husband live in Ipswich, MA with their three children (Morgan, Calvin, and Sydney). Currently, she is on the board of By Design Ministries and the teaching team for the Women’s Bible Study at her church. Krisie loves to be involved at church and in her children’s schools, building community.